My mother and father sent me this and I found it funny enough to share with my friends and family. If you have not lived in Colorado, you might not get it, but it fits many other places I have lived or visited as well. So just substitute the appropriate towns from your past and enjoy! I have friends and family in many of these places and I hate to say how right on some of these really are :-) For those of you who do not know where I grew up, want to take a guess at which one of these I escaped from :-)

Somebody really knows a lot about a few cities and towns in Colorado. Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the Colorado Market:

Telluride Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at Park Meadows Mall. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with “augmented” version.

Grand Junction Barbie
This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

Clifton Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are MCSD, then we don’t know what you are talking about.

Highlands Ranch Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won’t be able to afford any of them.

DeBeque City Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six pack of Coors light and a Hank Williams , Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken’s butt when she’s drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Aspen Barbie
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print ski outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the lodge. Percocet prescription available.

Parachute Barbie
This tobacco chewing, brassy haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gutted Ken out of Clifton Barbie’s house. Her ensemble includes low rise acid washed jeans, fake finger nails, and a see through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.

Boulder Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her ” Willow .” She does not want or need a Ken doll, but you if purchase two Boulder Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

Aurora Barbie
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his ‘79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

Rifle Barbie
She comes with a set of genuine buck teeth, bottle of Ripple and detachable hairlip. We don’t know who Ken is cause he’s always hunting.

El Jebel Barbie
This Spanish Speaking only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat, but no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a Fruit Packers uniform and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green Cards are not available for Barbie or Ken.