The Schullo’s Personal Blog

Hello everyone. I have returned from my self proclaimed “vacation”. For those of you that were not aware of what I have been up to. I took two weeks off from work, one week unpaid as I did not have any more vacation. My trip took me through many states and some very beautiful country. The original plan was to fly to Tampa, Florida for the USF football game on Friday October 30. I had determined that I really felt that I would need to drive and in order to drive I would need an extra week off. I am so glad that I made that decision. Even though the total trip was right at 5,000 miles round trip. I was on top of the Cumberland Gap, what an incredible view. A friend had told me that Shauna would now see everything through my eyes. While taking in the view I felt Shauna’s “spirit” fill my heart again, I had been missing her, I felt this big smile come over me and I knew it was Shauna. The next day I went through the Blue Ridge Mountains in Tennessee, again, what incredible scenery. I took lots of pictures. I eventually made it to Tampa, Florida and met lots of friends over the seven days that I was there. Thanks to everyone that made my return to Florida a memorable experience. The highlight was of course tail-gating with all of our friends at the USF vs West Virginia football game. Kathy, thanks for everything that you did to organize this. Charles, thanks for everything that you did preparing the food. Everyone that was there THANKYOU!!!! By the way USF absolutely stomped West Virginia, like we didn’t know that that was going to happen. It didn’t take me long to remember why we left Florida, end of October and in the mid 90’s too fricking HOT. Then I got a few fire ant bites to top everything off. I was also able to stop by our house that we had built in Thonotosassa. What an amazing experience, they had not changed anything on the inside. Everything was just as we had left it, even some rugs and window coverings. I was allowed to go out on their dock and leave something of Shauna behind. She loved the view of the lake and I was very appreciative of the opportunity to do this. I was in Florida from Monday October 26 thru Sunday November 1. I left Florida Monday morning November 2 at 4:30 AM headed for Oklahoma to visit Shauna’s parents. I will continue my adventure hopefully tomorrow. That’s all for now.

Hello everyone,
Another belated update. It has been over a month since my last post. I have been very busy and as you might expect been having some difficulties along the way. I went to Grand Junction, Colorado the end of August. Shauna had a tree planted in her honor at Columbine Park, that was donated by the International Order of Foresters. I met Shauna’s parents there, it was very good to see them again. For those of you who might not know this, Shauna was born and raised in Grand Junction and this is where we met and were married. So you can imagine how emotional this trip was for me. Columbine Park was where I played softball for the eight years that I lived in Grand Junction. When I arrived at the Park for the ceremony I recognized the person with the City Parks and Recreation that was responsible for planting the tree. David was a friend of ours and we had played softball together. David asked me if I remembered what was at the location that Shauna’s tree was going to be planted at. I didn’t remember, it was twenty plus years ago. He told me that there was an old ash tree here with a picnic table underneath it and this was where we celebrated after each softball game. David said to me that he didn’t think he could have picked a better spot to honor Shauna. Needless to say emotions were running high. After the ceremony Wendell, Karen and I went up to the National Monument. The National Monument is like a mini Grand Canyon, it is absolutely beautiful. Wendell had brought with them a remembrance of Shauna, Karen had told me that Shauna had really wanted to have our wedding ceremony at The National Monument but was concerned about weather related “issues” so other arrangements were made. So we left something of Shauna as a tribute to her. After that we went to Shauna’s favorite restaurant in Grand Junction, Dos Hombres. We indulged with some great Mexican food
and margaritas and reminisced about Shauna. Then I met some “old” friends and talked about the times when we lived in G.J. I visited a few places that I felt were important for me to see, Shauna’s parents house, our house and what turned out to be the most difficult for me the bowling alley where Shauna and I had met.
I really did enjoy my visit to G.J. and seeing friends and family again. But, I had no idea that it was going to be so emotional and the impact that it has had on me. Before I left for G.J. my heart was filled with “The Spirit of Shauna”, when I returned to Madison that feeling was gone. I know Shauna didn’t go anywhere, it was just me needing to figure out what I needed to do to get it back. After about a month of praying for assistance I was able the get that feeling back. But, as life would have it, that was short lived. “The Spirit of Shauna” was back for less than twelve hours, when I got home from work I had a phone message from my mother. FYI, my mother has not spoken to me since she was here for Shauna’s Memorial Service, vowing never to speak to me again. So, needless to say the message was unexpected and deflating. More drama has been introduced recently into my life by my loving mother. So I am trying to stay positive and move forward. It has been very difficult to say the least, I miss Shauna terribly and I am constantly thinking about her and reminded of her. I am not in a place that I need to be, I am making progress. I try to tell myself that this is another “test”, God will not put upon me any more than I can handle. WOW, did I say that?
I will be going to Florida the end of October for a week. Going to the USF vs West Virginia football game and having a big tailgate party in honor of Shauna. I am not sure how I am going to handle all of this! Our lives in Grand Junction consisted of nearly two years. Our lives in Florida covered nearly nineteen years! I am looking forward to going because I know that it is something I need to do as part of the healing process. But I also know that it is going to be one hell of a ride.
I have been staying busy. Went to the Minnesota Gophers vs Northwestern Pussycats (Hi Larry) football game in Evanston. Went to a Milwaukee Brewers game. Went to a Wisconsin Badgers football game. I have joined a bowling league and Thursday night I had a 725 series. Have been enjoying the fall colors. Yesterday driving home fro Viola I saw three rainbows. A lot of good things are happening but I am trying to deal with too much drama. My focus is to get “The Spirit of Shauna” back in my heart. Like I said earlier, Shauna hasn’t gone anywhere, it is just something that I have to figure out as to what I need to do to get her back.
Thanks for all the love and support and I will keep everyone posted as time permits.

Love,
Scott

I am sorry that it has taken me so long to update everyone. Wanted to let everyone know that I am doing very well . The last month or so has been a very positive experience for me. I am understanding what Shauna had been trying to teach me over the twenty one wonderful years that we were married. Shauna now knows that she did absolutely make a difference in this world that we live in. I now know what a tremendous difference she made in my life. It has been a very powerful learning process for me. Last week the University of Wisconsin had their annual Distance Learning Conference, part of Shauna’s job involved this Conference. Shauna was honored for her teaching excellence and this award will bear her name for future recipients. One of Shauna’s best friends attended this Conference, Amy came up from Florida. I was able to meet Amy and I told her what was happening with me and I will share that now with you. Shauna was always a teacher, she taught me so much, but I did not realize the extent of her teachings until after she was gone. At first it was very sad, but as time went by I started to realize what Shauna would have wanted me to do. She was always more concerned about others then she was about herself. I now understand why! I now understand what Shauna meant to me and who Shauna was. I can not put my feelings into words that would do Shauna any justice. Just know that with every passing day the feelings that I have for Shauna help me become stronger. I believe that Shauna continues to teach me to be a better human being every day. She has become a bigger part of me then I could have ever imagined. I miss her very much but I am moving forward knowing that Shauna is with me every step of the way.
I still don’t know how to get into the photo gallery to update the pictures of our house. Just know that our house is my sanctuary.
Thanks again to all of our wonderful friends and family members that have continued to support me and remember Shauna.
I will try to update on a more regular basis.

Love,
Scott

As promised I will try and keep everybody posted on how I am doing. I have received some training on entering data but still need help with uploading photos to update our blog gallery. I have a lot of new pictures , but you will have to wait until I get some more training.
First and foremost I want to send along a very heartfelt thank you to all of our families, friends, co-workers as well as anyone that had there lives “touched” by Shauna. For those of you that may not know, Shauna lost her battle with cancer on May 7, 2009. Shauna meant everything to me and my goal from here on out is to make sure that I make her proud of me, for when we meet again. The last month and a half has been the most difficult time of my life. I am making progress, taking one step at a time, trying to stay positive. Shauna would have expected that of me. I am definitely smiling more often with less tears. Today has been a tough day though, I really don’t know why. I had a very good day yesterday, went shopping and found a beautiful desk for the office and it was priced at 50% off. Shauna had told me all about the Wii game so I went and got one of those too! Probably going to need some training on this too!
Shauna was an absolutely amazing woman, and I miss her dearly. My love for her will never die! My plan is to stay in Madison and live in our new home.
I just wanted to let everyone know that I am trying to get the blog updated. I will write more later.
Thanks again for all the love, compassion and support from everyone.

Love, Scott Schullo

Dear family and friends

I have been slow in keeping up with the blog and have not communicated with most anyone since the holidays. So, here is a bit of a catch up to get everyone up to speed.

We moved into our new house on Thursday the 26th of March. It was a whirl wind weekend where Scott worked very hard and I sat around and watched because of very low energy and difficulties breathing. We managed to get everything transferred and Scott got the condo cleaned to perfection in time for the walk through on Tuesday. So, we are officially out of the condo and into the house. Woo Hoo!

On Saturday of this week, a crew from Team Survivor Madison came by to assist Scott and I in getting a bit more settled. They moved and unpacked boxes for 2 hours and it is amazing what they got done. Scott and I really appreciate the extra help and the friendships that have grown from this group of wonderful ladies (and their wonderful men).

On Sunday (last week) my breathing was getting considerably worse and Scott was beginning to worry. So on Monday I went to the ER to have things checked out. They admitted me for pneumonia, but later decided it was a combination of the cancer, some fluid on my lungs and general issues with my health. However, when in the hospital many tests were run and additional cancer was found. I now have cancer in my lungs, my bones and my brain. This leaves us with few options at this point. The chemotherapy is not helping to slow the cancer and is definitely not healing it. So, we will stop chemotherapy for a bit. To slow the stuff in the brain and keep me on a cognitive even keel, they are doing full brain radiation for 10 sessions. This should add a bit of time to what I have left to work with. In addition, they are concerned with my liver function. All the drugs have taken a toll. Maybe a break will help.

The doctor in the hospital was a bit of a doomsayer. She told us that I have only 2 months or so to live. However, others do not agree with her opinion and I am staying with the “we have no idea” perspective. We are currently looking for a miracle though.

I will stay off of treatment for a bit so that I can qualify for any clinical trials that may come up. I have to be off treatment for 4 weeks for most of them. So, we will keep our eye on the science arena and our hearts and prayers in the spiritual arena and see if we can not find a miracle.

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers. Keep them coming. I do have a bit of difficulty with talking and breathing, so although it is not as personal, email, letters, cards, etc. are probably better than phone calls if you want to get in touch. However, I am still open to the occasional chat with a good friend  If you need our new contact information, please email me shauna at schullo dot com. Take care all! – S&S